Wild Heat (Northern Fire) Read online

  There would be no healing of that particular self-inflicted wound in her heart. Considering how stomped on and shredded that organ had been over the past years, Caitlin was surprised at the level of regret that thought elicited in her.

  She’d pretty much decided her heart was beyond fixing. She’d erected a steel wall around her emotions a long time ago, and it had been tempered in the fire of pain that burned through her life. There should be no room for regret at a loss that had already happened. The last thing she needed was the vulnerability of any kind of relationship, even friendship.

  Pushing aside her own disturbed thoughts, Caitlin couldn’t help noticing the way Joey and his mother reacted to the man who was so clearly there to meet them. Joey was staring up at the man in rapt fascination, but his mother appeared as nauseated as she had on the plane, her gaze shadowed by trepidation.

  “Is this my new daddy?” Joey asked with the keen interest and innocence of a small boy.

  Shock coursed through Caitlin at the question and her brain spun with explanations of where it could come from. Daddy? They were a family of strangers, or a family in the making?

  The man had the looks of a modern-day Cossack, the mother had the accent and delicate pale features of a Southern belle, and the little boy had short nappy hair and skin the color of coffee with just a dash of cream—they embodied the diversity so much a part of her home state.

  The man stared down at the boy for several seconds of tense silence. Then he addressed the woman. “Savannah Marie?”

  “Yes.”

  “You didn’t say you had a child.”

  “You didn’t ask.”

  Caitlin recognized Savannah’s tense stance all too well. The Southern woman didn’t know how her Cossack was going to react to her words, but she wasn’t dissolving into apologetic explanations either and Caitlin couldn’t help admiring that strength.

  The tall Alaskan man turned abruptly and started walking away.

  Savannah’s shoulders slumped, the defeat in her posture too familiar for Caitlin to ignore.

  Not that she’d ever let her own sense of despondency show, but Caitlin had felt it too long and too deeply not to recognize it in another human being. She might have learned to stifle concern for herself, but Caitlin had never been able to turn it off completely in regard to others. Since marrying Nevin, she’d done her best to protect her grandmother and aunts from the sharp edges of Caitlin’s life, but this overwhelming need to react to a stranger’s situation wasn’t something she’d experienced in a long time.

  Caitlin wasn’t looking for a friend, or complications to her barely pulled together life, but her feet moved of their own volition, drawing her nearer the other woman.

  She reached out to touch Savannah’s shoulder and offer help, though heaven knew Caitlin wasn’t anyone’s idea of a hero.

  However, before her hand connected, the man turned back with a brusque, “Aren’t you coming? You’ll need to point out your bags for me. We’ve got to get on the road. The drive to Cailkirn from here isn’t short.”

  The Southern woman’s sigh of relief and whispered, “Thank God,” got to Caitlin in a way that nothing else had in a long time.

  Before she could talk herself out of it, she let her hand fall on Savannah’s shoulder, causing the other woman to stop and turn to face Caitlin. “Pardon?”

  “You’re going to Cailkirn?” Caitlin forced herself to ask.

  The woman’s gray gaze reflected the mix of emotions Caitlin had heard in her voice a moment ago as well as confusion. “I think so?”

  Caitlin nodded. “Come on, then. Let’s get our bags. We’re going to the same place and I’m going to talk your…friend”—she was uncertain what the relationship was at this point—“into giving me a ride.”

  Her original intention had been to rent a car and make the drive herself. Her brain was telling her that’s exactly what Caitlin should do. But she couldn’t help remembering all the times in the last few years she’d wished someone else had stepped in as a buffer between her and Nevin. She wasn’t sure Savannah needed one, not really, but Caitlin wasn’t walking away until she was sure the other woman didn’t.

  “Oh, I don’t know…”

  “Don’t worry. I won’t take up a lot of room.” Caitlin winked, proud of herself for making the comment without feeling the shame that still sometimes accompanied any reference to her body.

  “But—”

  “He won’t mind. It’s an Alaskan thing. Neighbors help neighbors. Especially in the small towns, but nowhere more than in Cailkirn.”

  They reached the luggage carousel and the bearded man.

  “Caitlin Grant.” She put her hand out to him. “I’m headed to the Knit and Pearl B and B. I would really appreciate a ride if you’ve got room.”

  “Nikolai Vasov.” He shook Caitlin’s hand. “I know the Grant sisters.”

  Caitlin gave Nikolai the polite expression that she’d perfected in her years with Nevin. “I’m not surprised. Most people in Cailkirn do. Moya is my grandmother.”

  Her grandmother and great-aunts had lived in the small town on the Kenai Peninsula their entire lives. With her grandfather and great-uncle Teddy gone, the three elderly ladies shared the spacious Victorian house that had been built on the original Grant homestead more than a hundred years before.

  As far as Caitlin knew, her aunt Elspeth had never lived anywhere else and her grandmother had lived in the Grant home since her marriage to Grandfather Ardal forty years ago. Aunt Alma had moved back into the big house after Teddy Winter’s death a few years after the turn of the century.

  It was a couple of years after the oldest Grant sister moved in that the sisters decided to turn the house into a bed-and-breakfast. Caitlin had been preparing to go away to college and her grandmother and aunts claimed they needed something to keep them busy.

  Caitlin realized Nikolai looked more than a little like the Vasov boy who had been a couple of years ahead of her and Tack in school. “Are you related to Alexi Vasov?”

  “He’s my cousin.”

  She nodded, vaguely remembering talk about Alexi’s uncle. Peder Vasov had left Cailkirn right after high school just like Caitlin’s parents. Somehow, both their children had ended up back in the town settled by Scots and Russians, integrating a small Inuit village along the way to incorporated town status.

  Nikolai nodded his head abruptly. “We’ll make room for you.”

  He didn’t ask how much luggage she had. It wasn’t the Cailkirn way.

  Caitlin turned to Savannah and her son. “I should introduce myself to you too. I’m Caitlin Grant and you can find me at the Knit and Pearl Bed-and-Breakfast. You and your son will always be welcome.”

  Though she was probably the last woman who should be trying to offer hope and help to someone else, Caitlin couldn’t seem to stop herself.

  “I’m Joseph, but everybody calls me Joey,” the little dark-haired boy offered while his mother stood in apparent shock.

  Caitlin shook his hand and didn’t tell him she’d heard his name on the plane. “It’s very nice to meet you, Joseph. I’ll call you Joey if you like.”

  “Yes.” He stared at his mom, clearly waiting for her to say something.

  The other woman offered her hand. “My name is Savannah…” She cast a sidelong glance at Nikolai.

  He gazed back, his expression impenetrable.

  Savannah took a deep breath. “Vasov. I’m Savannah Vasov.”

  Caitlin schooled her features not to show her shock. She hadn’t heard of a proxy marriage since she was a teenager, but what else could this be?

  In a state where the male population outnumbered females of marriageable age, long-distance relationships were not uncommon. Marriages brought about through a third party weren’t unheard of either.

  Heck, they happened in the Lower 48 too. The dot-com matchmaking entities were an ingrained part of American life now. Entire reality shows were dedicated to the concept of matchmaking and select
ive pool dating with the endgame being a marriage.

  Proxy marriages were a lot less common, though, to the point of being almost unheard of. Oh, they happened, but most commonly among active duty military.

  They were legal in only six states, California being one of them—which explained how Savannah and Nik had managed to marry by proxy. It wasn’t a legal practice for an Alaskan-based marriage ceremony.

  Though foreign brides marrying American men by proxy was still an active practice. Caitlin had known more than one beautiful Eastern European or Asian woman back in LA who had married her wealthy but otherwise unremarkable middle-aged husband, by proxy. It had worked out beautifully for some and not so well for others.

  Not that Caitlin was in a position to pass judgment on anyone else’s marriage, hers having been its own horror story.

  They retrieved their luggage and headed out to Nikolai’s truck, where the big man let Savannah, her son, and Caitlin into the vehicle before stowing the suitcases in the back. Anticipation born of loss and growth filled Caitlin as they headed back to her hometown, the one place she’d been so sure she never wanted to live again and the only place she could now imagine trying to rebuild her life.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Tack closed the browser on his tablet, the images of women suffering from anorexia leaving his stomach tight and hollow.

  He couldn’t imagine Kitty’s body so emaciated. Didn’t want to imagine it. Even more horrific was the possibility that in that physically and, according to what he’d read about the disease, emotionally vulnerable state, Nevin Barston had been physically abusive to Kitty.

  Tack had spent nine years resenting Kitty’s rejection of their friendship, even after he’d overcome the hurt of unrequited love. He’d pushed every happy memory of her deep into the darkest recesses of his psyche and had only allowed himself to remember the Kitty who was so intent on making a life for herself in California, she’d been willing to dump her best friend to do it.

  He’d spent a dozen years as Kitty’s staunchest friend. Then she’d cut him off and he’d let her. It had hurt less not having to see her in love with another man.

  He’d written off the more brittle personality of the LA Kitty he witnessed from a distance his final weeks at university in California. No way had he suspected it was the beginning of a self-destructive eating spiral that would land her in the hospital weighing thirty percent less than her ideal weight.

  All the regret in the world at not looking closer, not being more determined to maintain their friendship, couldn’t change the past, but that didn’t mean Tack didn’t feel it. It would take an asshole of mammoth proportions not to be moved by what Kitty had gone through in her marriage and what she’d done to herself in reaction to it.

  Kitty had been funny about food sometimes when they were kids. Like when she obsessed over tests in school, she’d stop eating and start drinking coffee so she could stay up late studying. Miz Moya would have been livid if she’d known, but Tack had covered for Kitty.

  He’d thought it was no big deal. And maybe it never would have been, if she hadn’t married that bastard in California.

  Tack had transferred to Idaho State without a single pang of conscience. He didn’t regret that decision now either. Kitty had dumped their friendship and he had hated LA, but that didn’t mean he felt nothing at the knowledge Kitty’s life over the past years hadn’t been nearly as tranquil as his.

  Shit.

  Tack recognized the feeling welling up inside him as inexorable as a hot spring geyser. Protectiveness toward a girl who had repaid his friendship with unswerving loyalty, honesty, and warmth for twelve years. Right up until she withdrew every bit of it, right down to the honesty, apparently.

  She’d made out like everything was perfect with her Prince Charming, only maybe Nevin had been more of a demon. He’d certainly done his best to suck the soul out of Kitty.

  * * *

  Tension hung thick in the extended cab of Nikolai’s four-by-four. Caitlin sat in the back with Joey, who had bounced and chattered nonstop for the first thirty minutes before falling asleep midsentence.

  Slumped against the side panel, he slept on while the adults maintained an uncomfortable silence.

  Savannah sat in front, her body as close to the door as she could get and still stay on the seat. There’d been no question she would rather have sat where Caitlin was for the drive, but Nikolai had loaded his passengers with unmistakable intent. He didn’t talk a lot, but the words he used left no doubt what he expected to happen.

  Caitlin had observed quietly as Savannah had tried to engage in conversation with Nikolai a couple of times, but his monosyllabic answers had not encouraged further attempts.

  Having some experience with taciturn Alaskan men, Caitlin wasn’t convinced of Nikolai’s lack of interest in Savannah’s conversation. Though it was clear the other woman was.

  Her expression dazed, Savannah’s focus was entirely on the passing scenery now. Therefore, she did not see the sidelong glances Nikolai cast her way every few miles.

  Caitlin would be content to finish the ride in silence. She had a lot of practice at surviving this kind of tension, but being back in Alaska was calling to her true nature, to the woman she’d buried deep and tried to forget.

  The Alaskan girl with a friendly, curious nature her ex had worked hard to suppress if not destroy completely.

  Caitlin wasn’t going to let him win. She remembered the final bit of advice from her therapist at their last appointment: Leaving your husband isn’t going to help you, if you continue to live as if he’s still looking over your shoulder.

  Every day might be an effort to reconnect to the world in a meaningful way, but Caitlin was a fighter. No matter how little that had shown in the past years of her life.

  “How old is Joey?” she asked Savannah, noticing Nikolai tensing as if waiting for a reply as well.

  “He’s six.”

  “Does he like school?”

  “I’ve…um…been homeschooling him. He’s smart. Really, really smart.” That at least brought some spark to the other woman’s demeanor.

  Nikolai barked out, “Why are you homeschooling the boy?”

  “The boy has a name.” From Savannah’s tone, her attitude toward Nikolai was sliding from overwhelmed to irritated.

  His expression unchanging, his tone showing no overt annoyance at the need to repeat his question, just the same gruff demeanor, Nikolai asked, “Why not put Joey in school?”

  Nevin would have been furious if she had ever stood up to him the way Savannah held her own against Nikolai. Strangely, the other woman’s response triggered gratitude in Caitlin for her own freedom. She never had to pretend to be fine to placate a dangerously angry husband again.

  “I thought homeschooling was common in Alaska?” Savannah asked, rather than answer.

  Nikolai grunted. Was he annoyed Savannah hadn’t answered his question?

  “In a lot of places, it is, but Cailkirn has always had its own elementary school,” Caitlin hastened to assure her, continuing a patina of babble in hopes of smoothing over the growing tension inside the truck. “It’s small but the community is always ready to pitch in. Once the children reach middle school, they have to bus to one of the bigger schools.”

  “How does that work in winter?” Savannah asked, her soft Southern drawl drawing Nikolai’s attention, though she didn’t seem to notice.

  “It’s not bad. Sometimes children miss days because of extreme conditions, whether because the carpool from Cailkirn can’t make it to the bus route to drop the kids at their stop or sometimes because the buses aren’t running. It really doesn’t happen as often as you might expect.”

  “We’re prepared for the weather,” Nikolai inserted. “Some parents send their teens to college prep boarding schools.”

  Muscles that she hadn’t been aware were tightening in Caitlin’s neck and shoulders relaxed as it became apparent there wasn’t going to be a full-blown argument
.

  * * *

  “No,” Savannah said with unexpected force and a glare for Nikolai that Caitlin wasn’t sure he’d earned with his simple observation. “I’m not sending my child away to school.”

  Nikolai shrugged. “There are some years before we have to consider high school.”

  Savannah visibly deflated. Whether from relief at that fact or the man’s dismissal of her concerns, Caitlin could not tell.

  “My grandmother didn’t send me away to boarding school and I didn’t have any problems at university coming from the local high school.”

  In fact, her college years shone as bright beacons on the map of her life. Not least of which because her best friend, Taqukaq MacKinnon, had opted to attend USC as well. She’d loved life in California those first few years.

  Panic welled at memories of Nevin’s reaction when she’d told him she wanted to go to Tack’s graduation a year after she’d married. She’d had some crazy idea of renewing her friendship at least enough that they could send the occasional e-mail or Christmas card. Nevin had made it very clear that was not acceptable.

  Ignoring the rise and fall of stilted words coming from the truck’s front seat occupants, Caitlin practiced her calming techniques. It took about twenty miles, but eventually her breathing returned to normal and the band around her chest loosened.

  Her therapist said Caitlin had a form of PTSD. She’d survived her own private war, and not without internal wounds. Some of which she wasn’t sure would ever heal.

  Caitlin hadn’t spoken to Tack in years and she hadn’t seen him in even longer. But suddenly the desire to talk to her oldest friend was so strong she would have called him if she had his cell phone number.

  And wouldn’t that go over well? Not.

  He’d probably disconnect the call the second he recognized her voice.

  “Caitlin?” Savannah’s expression indicated she might have tried to get Caitlin’s attention more than once.